In the Pursuit of Perfection.

You can have it all! That's what they say anyway. You can achieve work/life balance and amazing abs all at the same time if only you try! Just try. Keep trying. Keep pushing...

I'm not buying it. I DID buy into it. Two and a half years ago, after my third child was born, I believed I could launch a candle company, care for my three children, keep my house immaculately clean, cook organic vegan meals, and look great in my skinny jeans. Yeah....not a great plan. I was driving myself crazy in the pursuit of some idealized perfection. No one told me I had to do it. I just thought the very definition of my success as a woman, a mother, a mompreneur boiled down to achieving the ultimate work/life balance.

I can tell you this: my home life suffered. My emotional well-being suffered. As my business boomed, I felt less and less connected to myself and my life. I was living and breathing for candles. Sell, sell, sell!!! Sure, I could fit into my skinny jeans. But I was miserable. I looked like I aged 10 years. I got a hernia from lifting heavy boxes full of candles. And my hair was  falling out. By the handful. This was not the definition of success. This was the definition of burn out.

At the urging of my VERY patient husband, I considered my life. What did I want? To be the Queen of  Candles? To be a Boss Babe? To take over the world? The answer was simple: I wanted my children to look up to me. I wanted my daughter to see that a woman could have a family AND a career. I wanted to create something from nothing and watch it grow.

At what cost? 

I changed my pursuit of perfection into a journey of self. Whatever that self looks like- grey hair and all. Whatever that self feels like- indulging in books and tea instead of marketing insights and instagram likes. At the end of the day, I should feel good about being a good person. About laughing. Smiling. That's what my children will remember. Not how many candles I sold. 

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